I gave my self and my toys a haircut yesterday. Payback for mom doing it when she was a kid.

Catch Up

Dinosaur National Monument. Yesterday afternoon we took a little trek to the monument. There's a short hike to some fossils that a Park ranger points out and explains.

Maybe Austin learned a lesson about wildlife when he caught this lizard and it promptly bit him twice, drawing blood.
I always find Amelia doing something she's not supposed to, she loves being a big girl.
First day of school, Sivai 3rd grade, Austin 1st. It sure is quiet around here when they are gone. I couldn't help but post this picture with their cheesy poses, it really shows their personalities.
A couple of days after Lagoon Patrick had a cousins reunion in West Jordan. We camped out on his Aunts lawn and the kids played and played with their extended family. They even had a chance to take a canoe trip down the canal. Thanks Uncle Bob!

Lagoon!! We took a trip to Lagoon right before school started. Uncle Irvin, Aunt Amber, and Aunt Jennifer tagged along for the fun. Austin and Lily rode every ride they could and loved it. Sivai liked the more mellow rides and still had a great time.

Not just a memory

Sivai playing in the fire and Tu'mama looking on. She is Vale and Tulelei's sister and is mentally handicapped. She tends the babies in the family and keeps them clean and safe, which included being Sivai's main caregiver when he was there.
I would catch her fussing over Sivai while we were there this year and she gave me a big hug and cried when we left. I wish I could speak Samoan and get to know her more.

Sean and Sivai the first night we arrived. Sean is Tulelei's son and she had him after Sivai left.

It's been over two months since we've been back and just the other day I had a break down driving down the road in the middle of day. Austin was talking about snorkeling in the ocean and I couldn't hold the tears back. We've been telling people that we want to move to Samoa once Patrick has graduated and has is LCSW, I don't know if they believe us but we are. I catch myself daydreaming about it, planning out my days and how my house and garden will be set up. I have a picture in my head that I go back to and fill in the details. It's a small house with louvered windows and a large tree growing over it, probably a mango tree or a breadfruit tree. It faces south and is on the hillside, and there are chickens in the front yard.

The house above is where Sivai lived for a year with his foster family. It's right on the ocean and they don't stay there any more because they are afraid of the ocean ofter the tsunami over a year ago. It was a big deal for them to come back and have us be there this year. The tsunami swept away their umu (outdoor kitchen) and their toilet. They have been replaced with better accommodations, even though they have hardly been used.

This is the house Patrick and I first met Sivai in and where we stayed while Patrick was in Samoa.

Busy July

Pinewood Derby on the 20th. Sivai had a fun time even though his tank wasn't a winner.
Amelia's 1st b-day was celebrated in Cedar City with a big family BBQ. She loved her cake and her presents.

Austin's b-day was the same night of the pinewood derby so we came home and had a late party.

relax.....

I feel like chaos and confusion has taken over my life again. Take a deep breath, imagine calming sound of the ocean and palm trees blowing in the wind.

I need to de-clutter and de-stress my life, but the thought of that even seems overwhelming. I know having four kids means that there is always going to be a lot on my plate, but I feel like all these things are swallowing me up right now.

I know what I need to do, but slowing down and taking the time to do it seems impossible.

It's Austin's 6th birthday today, and the pinewood derby in scouts for Sivai, plus we're leaving for Cedar City tomorrow.

The picture of Sivai is my favorite picture from the trip. It's a moment of pure joy and beauty. He was so excited to get on the ferry to the Savaii and see his birth family and foster family. I wish we could be caught up in this moment forever. I had a lot of spontaneous outbursts of emotion on this trip and this was one of them, I could feel through him a sense of coming home, a return to something he didn't know he missed.

Amelia at the splash park, she loves the water.

The kids and I took a trip to KS to visit my parents and my grandparents. We swam, went hunting, watched Keely at 4-H and the boys did a lot of riding the 4-wheeler at the feedlot.
We shot a total of 8 eight rabbits on our hunt, Austin was a natural and Lily got had a blast.

Marina holding Derek, and Richard, three of the Tagaloa's children.

This is the backyard of Taafaga and Vale Tagaloa. They live on the church compound of Pesega where the church school and the temple are located. When we adopted Sivai and I was required to stay for four weeks longer than scheduled this is where I spent most of my time. At that time they were not allowed to have large gardens in their backyards so it was just grass, seeing it all in garden is an improvement that really helps the families provide for themselves.

It was home, I felt safe and loved and taken care of there. They shared so freely what little they had. The Tagaloa's have 9 children, one adopted. But there is usually more than that living there, they are always taking in cousins and providing for them while they attend the church school.

I would spend my days sitting in the back yard eating dozens of mango's and bananas, talking with Vale and her kids and trying to stay cool. The little shack in the picture is their outdoor kitchen. They have a regular kitchen in their house but it's too expensive for them to be running the stove, and they prefer to cook outside. Most Samoans cook outside.

The Dotson's and the Tagaloa's are family. Vale helped Patricks' mom on their mission, she healed her through love so that Maralyn was able to stay and finish her mission. I don't think anyone can understand the complete difference of being in Samoa unless you have been there. It's a hard place to be when you feel like you're only surviving. I'm glad that I was able to embrace Samoa and look past the heat and the smells and some of the primitive ways. It was all part of who my son is and what Samoa is, and in some ways a way of life that is so much simpler and uncomplicated, I yearn for this way of life.